How I Photograph Shy Kids

Shy, Reserved or Slow-to-Warm Kids

Not every child that comes into the studio instantly warms up to me. In fact, that’s extremely rare. Most kids need at least five minutes to get used to their surroundings and to me. I never push kids to warm up to me…it happens naturally.

Sometimes, however, a child will come to the studio who is more shy than most. It’s rare, but I love it when parents bring their painfully shy kids to the studio! I recently had a little girl come in with her mom and she clung to her leg like it was her lifeline. Mom mentioned that she might not be brave enough to do photos at all, but she wanted to try.

Mom was right…she was shy and hesitant to trust me. Tears started to form almost immediately, so I put my camera down. I let her stay with Mom and just talked with them both. I pointed to photos of other little girls on my walls and told her how brave those girls were. I let her know she was brave too.

Before I picked up my camera again, we played a little. I got her comfortable with the studio and had her get some toys to play with. Before long, she was engaged, comfortable and smiling (barely) for the photos. Mom was thrilled that I was able to get photos without tears and I was happy that she ended up comfortable in the studio.

Shy Behavior is Normal

Shy kids are often very observant. They like to learn about their surroundings before they feel comfortable. They’re cautious and thoughtful. Think of this as their super power.

I never try to “fix” this behavior. Instead, I work with it and use it to create a safe space for your child. We play games, make silly faces and sometimes stop to read a book.

Kids will often act completely different in the studio. Even when family is there (parents, siblings, etc.) and shyness can take over.

one year old girl in a pink dress smiling at the camera while sitting on a white doll bed with pink and silver balloons in the background

Why Traditional Photo Sessions Can Be Hard for Shy Kids

Many shy or reserved children don’t struggle because they are uncooperative or lack social skills. They struggle because traditional photo sessions often move too fast for how they process the world. They may have trouble picking up on social cues or find high energy situations make them anxious.

In many settings, children are expected to warm up immediately. They are asked to smile on cue, make eye contact with a stranger, and follow directions before they feel settled. For children who are naturally cautious or observant (shy kids), this can feel overwhelming rather than fun.

Bright lights, unfamiliar adults, and constant verbal prompts can create pressure, even when everyone has the best intentions. Some children respond by freezing. Others cling tightly to their parent. A few shut down completely. Parents often leave these sessions feeling discouraged. They may blame themselves or worry that their child “ruined” the experience. In reality, the environment simply did not match what their child needed in that moment.

Shy and slow-to-warm children tend to do best when they are given time to be quiet observers, settle in, and feel safe before being asked to engage. When that space is missing, even the most thoughtful toddler can struggle to show their true personality, especially in new situations.

One year old boy in a yellow shirt playing with a white pumpkin

My Philosophy With Shy Kids

No Rushing

Rushing kids doesn’t work. It creates meltdowns. I like to wait for them to be ready, and honestly, it doesn’t take long.

The goal isn’t performance. It’s trust and natural behavior.

I Don’t Demand Smiles

In fact, I almost never even ask for smiles. Kids smile so easily that I never need to ask for them. I just need to be a little silly and have a lot of fun. It makes a huge difference.

Creating a safe space for kids makes this extremely easy. Play makes it even easier.

What a Session Looks Like for Sky Kids

When kids come into the studio for the first time, I greet them and allow them to visually explore the space. Most times, kids stay clung to Mom for a while, but they soon see something colorful that catches their attention. I have lots of fun toys in the studio, so there’s something that bound to catch their eye.

Once we’ve gotten acquainted, I’ll have Mom or Dad walk the kiddo over to the set and sit with them for a moment. This helps them feel comfortable in that decorated space.

Them I typically roll a ball around. Sometimes Mom or Dad will roll it back a few time to show that it’s fun, but most times, the kids love this activity. My camera’s right next to me, so sometimes I can get a picture or two in here. More often than not, even the most shy kids really warm up with this activity.

Then, I just ask them to play with the set pieces. Nothing more. By this point, the child is able to sit without a parent, so it goes pretty quickly. Sometimes, I’ll bring more toys in for them to play with. Other times, we’ll play peek-a-boo from behind the camera.

No matter what game we play or toys I add, the goal is to get photos of your child as they are at that moment. No one likes to smile on command, least of all children. So I do my best to get natural smiles. Once your child starts warming up, everything goes smoothly.

What Parents Can Do To Help! Tips and Tricks

Do’s

Reassure
Give hugs and cuddles
Make silly faces
Give tickles as needed
Stand directly behind me

Don’ts

Threaten your child for not smiling
Try to force smiles
Apologize for their behavior (it’s all normal)
Pressure your child to perform

The Bottom Line

When it comes right down to it, every child needs an individualized approach to almost everything. Photos are no exception. One single method doesn’t work for everyone and children feel that too. Especially the shy child.

After photographing shy kids for over 15 years, I’ve picked up a few tricks. A personalized approach is best and I look for opportunities to make kids (and parents) fell welcome and safe in my studio. I follow their energy gently encourage natural smiles. The most important thing I can do is give a shy child patience.

If this sounds like your child, our studio sessions are designed with them in mind. Let’s chat!

Shy, Reserved or Slow-to-Warm Kids

Shy Behavior is Normal

Why Traditional Photo Sessions Can Be Hard for Shy Kids